Hi Laos, bye Laos

We have spent the last two months absolutely dreading the 31 hour bus journey from Hanoi to Vang Vieng in Laos and have brought it up on every bus journey - "Laos will be 3/4/5/6 times as long as this so quit moaning". As the day of the journey was getting closer, we met a lovely girl in our dorm who had just done the journey the opposite way. After hearing her awful account and her saying that if she had the choice to pay £100 for a flight or do it again, she would pay..... we bought a flight! One short hour in the air and we had landed in Vientiane, the capital. 

As we didn't have much time, we were straight in to a four hour taxi which took us to Vang Vieng, known for the infamous activity of tubing. We arrived on the Vang Vieng 'strip' at about 8pm, with nowhere to stay. We keep meaning to book accommodation before arriving in our next location as it is such a pain in the arse but of course, we never do. The strip seemed lively with a chilled vibe as a lot of the bars were playing friends and had beds for seats - I already liked it. We were quickly approached by a promo girl with glitter all over her face who pointed to her bar "come and join us, we are the best place in the town to buy drugs - weed, opium, whatever you want". Welcome to Laos!

We finally found somewhere to stay and the next day decided to rent some bicycles (still not ready to get back on a moped) and headed off in search of the Blue Lagoon, which is meant to be a beautiful attraction. We followed the map and cycled the 7km, which doesn't sound too bad but the roads were so muddy and bumpy and at some points we had to get off the bikes and walk them barefoot through the deep mud / cow poo infested water. We finally came across the sign for 'Blue Lagoon' so we locked up our bikes and walked the 1km to where there were some locals ready to take your 10,000 kip entrance fee. We were expecting this so didn't really think anything of it and paid. We walked the remainder of the way down and found a muddy river that looked nothing like the pictures and wasn't even a pool of water. After walking a little futher, we realised that we had definitely been mugged off and decided to head back to the locals. Lisa was the most unimpressed and walked ahead to ask for our money back. 10,000 kip is just under £1 - but thats not the point. The oldest local was quick to run off in to the bushes and leave the three children who were laughing at us. They realised that it was risky to leave the money they were betting with in the middle of their table so one got up and ran off with it. In what can only be described as 'not her finest hour', Lisa (in a rage) threw a slingshot at the kids who were still waiting and went on to shove their moped over on to the floor. We quickly got back to our bikes worrying that some of the Laos mafia were going to come and kill us and kept cycling until we found the real Blue Lagoon:

Well, it was the authentic one and we recognised it from the pictures (like this one above from google) but it was a really horrible shade of BROWN. I'm not sure if it was because of the weather or if the online pictures are horrendously photoshopped but either way, after the drama of the day, we were very annoyed. We didn't even bother going in, grabbed a drink and then paid a tuk tuk driver to take us, and our bikes home.

The next day we decided it was time for tubing! We had a 'big tubing breakfast' which involved a beer and a free shot of vodka - a great way to start an all day drinking session. We set off in search of a tube and had to sign another waiver. We keep doing activities where you have to sign to say you wont die, and if you do you die, then you wont sue them. I usually just sign them straight away but this one worried me more than most. You had to tick 'yes' to being a confident swimmer, and I am definitely not - even sober. But, needless to say, I still ticked yes and hoped to god I wouldn't drunkenly drown (thankfully, i'm still here to tell the tale). We got in a tuk tuk who took us and our tubes up to the start point and met two friends from Israel who we ended up spending the whole day with. You get dropped at the first bar which was pretty busy already. They were playing some great music, had lots of games set up and just generally had a good vibe. So good that we ended up staying for two hours - playing (and winning) beer pong, drinking, and one of us vomming. We did a birthday shotgun for the bar man and decided it was time to get in the water... what was I saying about drowning?! 

As we were floating down the river, we started to hear some faint music and as we got closer we heard  some S Club 7 blasting out from the next bar. Then, the workers throw in ropes for you to grab on toand  then pull you on to the river bank and up to the next bar. This one was just as full, the had basket ball, played cheesy music and gave you a free bracelet with every drink. As a backpacker, anything free makes you very happy! We stayed for a while but as we had to get our rings back by 6pm, we left for the river again. 

It takes about an hour, with no stops, to get from the start to the finish in the wet season so the last part of our trip took a good half hour. There were a few more smaller bars along the last half an hour but because the current is so fast and strong, it is near on impossible to swim your ring to the river bank without falling out. Its common knowledge that many of the bars have been closed down as there have been many deaths over the years, but I do still think it is worth a visit just for the first two! As we approached the end, there was a man ready to help you out of the river and on to dry land. Of course, its me, nothing ever goes very smoothly so I managed to loose my ring and watched it float down the river. I shouted to some of the guys we'd met earlier to try and grab it as they were getting off at the next point but I was fully prepared to have lost it and have to pay the fine and too drunk to really care.

We made our way back to the start to give everyone else's rings back in probably the worst storm we have seen yet. Luckily, we were already soaked in river water but it was unlike any rain i've ever seen! Somehow, my ring came back with the others and we set off back to our hostel in a very very drunk state. We dryed off and only ventured back out for some very traditional pie and mash in an irish bar - perfect for warming us up. That night, we were too drunk to do anything else, ended up in bed by 9 and were up at 6am for our 24 hour journey to Chiang Mai - wow. 

We had such a little amount of time in Laos, which was such a shame as even the small parts we did see (minus the brown lagoon) were beautiful so I would definitely come back to see more!