Our Final Stop: Singapore

As we got aboard our final night bus, it dawned on us that this actually would be our last night bus and it was actually quite a sad moment. Not because I liked night buses, believe me I've had some of my worst nights sleep ever on them - it was just because it really marked the end, as we traveled to the last stop on our trip. The journey was fairly uneventful until at 3am when I sleep shouted "NO I BLOODY WON'T BE!" which was a tad embarrassing to say the least.

Once we got to the border, we discovered that we were committing a crime by smuggling alcohol in to Singapore without declaring it. Whoops! We had each bought a couple of bottles of Thai rum to take home for presents and wrapped them up in our clothes in our bags to make sure they wouldn't smash. When the customs workers saw them come up on the scanner, we were ushered in to what looked like a prison cell whilst our fines were calculated. We were deciding whether it would be taking the mick too much if we took a selfie and giggling a lot until the scary man came in and told us that our fine for not declaring our alcohol should be around the $560.00 + mark (about £280.00) but thankfully they decided to let us off and just make us pay only the tax which still annoyingly came to $57.00 - considering each bottle of rum was around £6.00 it was still an absolute joke, but it was apparently their way of discouraging people from drinking and smoking in Singapore. So thanks customs!

We arrived at our hostel mid morning to be welcomed by one of the nicest hostel owners we have met so far. She gave us lots of inside tips on how to get around, where to go and how not to have to pay the extortionate tourist prices (we loved her already!) Off we went to explore and of course our first point of call was the market. Bugis market was unlike anything i've ever seen as it was set over three floors and was full of tiny market stalls selling everything you could think of. Never one to miss a bargain, I picked up a few last minute treats for myself including a cute £2.50 dress which is now my go to outfit.

We grabbed some food in a Hong Kong restaurant where I had the nicest (and largest) iced tea i've ever had, of which i've had many. Anyone who knows me knows I have a ridiculously strange obsession with tea and teapots so this was a great find.

The next day, we moved in to a different hostel that we had pre-booked before we even left the UK as we knew that Singapore could be expensive. We booked this particular one because it had themed dorm rooms and thought it would be SO FUNNY to stay in the prison themed room (this was before our actual arrest at customs......) so imagine our disappointment when we were put in a dorm that was navy themed. Not only were we in a dorm that had life rings, and 'Welcome Aboard' signs everywhere, we also had two local old men who were living in the room who had the strangest sleeping patterns - left their lights on and banged the doors and left them open while everyone else was trying to sleep. They also made themselves very at home, by farting whenever they liked and rearranging their bits in full view. I think it was probably one of the worst hostels we have stayed in, just because of how uncomfortable the people living in the room made you feel - a very strange set up for somewhere that advertised as a backpackers hostel.

At least we had a lot planned and didn't need to spend much time in the hostel. We spent the next day mastering the metro and exploring Chinatown which does exactly what it says on the tin (a very pretty tin...)

We then headed to the river to grab a taxi boat which took us through the main town with a very cringeworthy commentary telling the history of each building, luckily the boat trip was nice and short and we walked the rest of the way around the harbour looking for one of the most famous buildings in Singapore. It didn't take us long to find and the closer we got, the better it looked. Marina Bay Sands Hotel sits here amongst designer shops and bars as well as an inside river complete with gondola ride.

Our inside knowledge from our lovely hostel owner was not to pay the $20.00 charge to go to the sky park at the top, but to go straight to the top and go into the bar where all you needed to do was buy a drink and you got the view for free. Our idea didn't go to plan right away when we realised that when you pay the entrance fee, you get given a key card which is needed to make the lift work. We had to awkwardly hang around the lifts until someone who actually had a key card was going to the 57th floor. Luckily it didn't take long and we found ourselves sipping a beer and looking at this view:

 

In true backpacker fashion, we could only afford one drink and then had to leave. That night, we went out to dinner with the only normal person in our dorm who took us round the corner where we had the best Biryani I have ever eaten and then headed back to the marina to watch the famous laser show which took three years for them to come up with and programme. They play the show twice a night and so we were excited to see what we would find. It made for quite a nice evening, but we really were expecting more. The 13 minute show really wasn't as impressive as I had hoped and we all left quite disappointed. 

The next day was a day we had been waiting for for a long time. Lisa was turning the BIG 25 and we awoke early to set up banners, balloons and lay out her present. Thankfully she loved it which was a huge relief since we (Leanne) had been carrying it all around in her bag. Of course, the only way to celebrate turning a quarter of a century was to head to Universal Studios! We had a fabulous day out pretending to be 5 years old running around the park, meeting the minions from Despicable Me and riding all the childrens rides.

To make sure Lisa showed us she was grateful for her gifts, we made sure she wore her I AM 25 TODAY badges all day. We ended the day with a traditional Singapore dinner at Hard Rock Cafe and some pre-drinks at our hostel. We knew that Singapore was too expensive for a big night out but we didn't realise that the only thing going on on a Monday night was a bridge party. It seemed that all the bars close at around 11pm and everyone goes to the 7-11, buys beers and gets drunk on the bridge. 

On our last day, we woke up hungover, headed straight for food and sat by the river feeling reflective and horrendously sad. We made sure we didn't speak about going home too much as we all knew how eachother was feeling but all just sat probably the quietest we had been the whole three months looking out over the harbour.

We packed our bags for the last time and the next morning, were up early and on the metro to the airport and that was it - only 16 hours in the way of it officially being the end. 

And that is it, back to reality. The hugest thank you goes to my two girls, Leanne and Lisa for the most amazing three months I could ever have wished for - we managed to laugh our way through the whole time and have come home closer than we were before knowing far too much more which I hadn't thought was possible. Another shout out goes to the Elle Meare for bringing the party for two weeks and to everyone else we met along the way..... YOU ARE ALL FABULOUS.

Lads on tour, Kuala Lumpur & the Perhentian Islands

After our time in Kanchanaburi, we unfortunately had to head back to Bangkok to get a bus down to Surat Thani where we could get a boat over to Koh Phangan. As we had a few hours to kill in Bangkok, for our sins we decided to head back to Khao San Road to pick up some cheap food, clothes and most importantly - a hair braid. Something I haven't had since I was about 10 but I think its really set off my traveller chic look. The night bus we had booked to go down south seemed dodgy enough when we were told to go to the train station and wait at the back door of KFC at 7pm. We did as we had been instructed, but of course the bus didn't turn up for hours and when it did, our 'sleeper' bus turned out to be a standard coach with non reclinable seats, what a long night!! After arriving in Koh Phangan, home to the infamous Full Moon Party, we set out to prepare for our friend Laura's arrival who would be joining us for two weeks. By prepare, I mean we bought the standard full moon outfits, florescent paint, alcohol and flowers. The next day we headed to the pier and awaited her arrival only to greet her with a beer which she had to shotgun as her initiation. So weird (but amazing) to see a face from home! The shotgun is where it all went down hill to be honest.... The Thai islands are beautiful but very focused around backpacking, drinking and partying. Our time here was no different and we spent the next two weeks island hopping, drinking alot of Chang and a lot of Sangsom & redbull buckets, staying out all night and spending the days trying to sleep off the hangover on the beach. We basically had a LADS holiday and didn't feel like travellers at all. It was the most fun two weeks but after Laura left, we were officially broken women who didn't leave our hotel room for the next 28 hours (exept to top up on hungover Mcdonalds of course)   The two most amazing things we did see were the viewpoint and Maya Bay or 'The Beach' both at Koh Phi Phi (easily my favourite island by far). I wont bore you with every funny, or unfunny story but the time went a little like this:

We had a flight from Phuket to Kuala Lumpur which we had booked before we even left home as we had heard that the southern border crossings between Thailand and Malaysia were quite dodgy. The flight was an easy one hour and luckily we'd already booked somewhere to stay in the Chinatown area. We grabbed a taxi from the airport and our driver was teaching us words in Malay, Cantonese and Mandarin (not sure how we were supposed to know when to use which) and warning us about how bad the in-town taxi (or teksi, as the write it) drivers were. "The worst taxi drivers in the world" apparently, which we were soon to find out. Our hostel was strange as it was very modern but very dark with only blue lights everywhere, but it was close to chinatown so we were happy and thats where we spent the next day exploring. Chinatown houses the longest street of knockoff goods I have ever seen - trainers, handbags, watches and everything in between so we had a good look round, bartering for some 'Nike' trainers and then hit the central market which was a very strange place which involved being stared at by almost all of the locals and Lisa being shouted at for her belly being open (she had a crop top on) and once this happened we started to realise that a high percentage of the population in KL are Muslim and almost everyone is covered up, so not only did we stick out because we are white, we also had our shoulders and knees out, whoops. 

We had already had quite a few struggles with the 'worst taxi drivers in the world' as even though it says on the side of the cars that they are to use the meter only and not allowed to haggle, none of them would as the traffic was too bad for them to make any money. After about 10 drivers refused to put their meter on, we finally gave in and once in the taxi found a whole list of rules that they weren't allowed to break, including not putting the meter on. When we pointed this out to the driver, he simply laughed. After this, we decided to take the metro everywhere we wanted and actually it was pretty simple and soo much cheaper and easier than the tube - it even has aircon. So the metro served us well until we aquired a chatty local who it was a struggle to understand even without the train noise over the top. He left at the same station as us and then asked if he could join us at dinner - all looking at eachother, saying ummm for an unconfortable amount of time, Lisa finally gave in and said no and we all had an awkard goodbye at the station - sorry!

That night, we decided to head to time square to have a look around, I think it is one of the biggest shopping centres I have ever seen and it had a rollercoaster at the top, my mind was blown. So that night, we decided to go in search of some traditional Malaysian food, we asked for recommendations at our hostel, and they could only say where the best Chinese food was. So off we went, and no, we found nothing of the sort. We had already had Chinese food in Chinatown so we eventually gave up out of hunger and had a Nando's. I think that was what put me off Kuala Lumpur - I was expecting it to be more western than the other places we had been, but I wasn't expecting what we found. There are so many sky scrapers and huge shopping centres with designer shops mixed with highstreet brands like Topshop and H&M as well as Starbucks and most fast food brands. You really don't feel like you are in Asia, you could be in London or somewhere, so I found it a little strange and didn't feel like I was seeing the real Malaysia or experiencing traditional culture. 

After our pretty western day at the shops, we decided to head to the Botanical Gardens and again, didn't find what we were expecting (a nice garden with birds and monkeys) and instead walked for miles and miles around alot of roads and not much garden. We finally found the bird enclosure but it was expensive to get in and wasn't anywhere near the nice open garden we were expecting, so in a huff, we went back to find a new, cheaper hostel. What we found was Podz - The Backpackers Home... Hmm, home as in you have to make your beds yourself and make your own breakfast, but otherwise not that homely at all. It was a strange place as the walls only went three quarters of the way up so you could hear the other 40 people in other dorms and private rooms on the same floor and they had a lights out policy at 11pm.

We had already been inside the shopping centre underneath the Petronas Towers, but we wanted to see them from far away along with the rest of KL's impressive skyline so we donned our best clothes and headed to Sky Bar, at the top of a swanky hotel. As we walked, we saw a water and light show (like in Vegas, but on a much smaller scale) and got to the entrance, already feeling like we stood out like a sore thumb. We quickly got in the lift before anyone could notice we were just dirty backpackers and got to the bar only to be asked for ID. ID?! I don't even remember what my ID looks like and not once had we needed it anywhere else. Luckily, we managed to sweet talk our way in when the manager came over and i'm so glad we did because this was the view of the towers and all we had to do in return was buy an over-priced drink.

Safe to say we didn't stay very long, since we felt very out of place so we called it a night and headed back to our hostel where the lights were out and you couldn't talk without fear of waking someone up, welcome home...

The next day we headed to Batu Caves, just outside of KL which is a natural cave at the top of a limestone hill and is also one of the largest Hindu shrines outside of India, so we found out once we got there. We also found that we would need to climb these 272 steps to get there:

The cave would have been very impressive if it had not have been for the mountians of litter and the religious paint/temples/shrines that were actually covering the natural beauty up. I think the only thing that made climbing the steps worth it were the hundreds of little monkeys running around them, chasing eachother and climbing up the arches. They were cute from far away, but when you got too close, and they started showing their growling teeth, it was actually quite scary being that close to wild amimals.

We ended our time in KL by googling the best place to get Malaysian food and going to one of the top ten restaurants in town called Songket. We are used to eating in shacks and peoples front room/kitchen/shop so this was a weird experience again, as we were waited on and were even called madame and ladies (haha). It was strange as a two course dinner and drinks still cost us all under £12 each and it was easily some of the best food we had eaten in a long time - the owner even offered to take us up to Sky Bar to show us the skyline, but as we had already been we decided to politely decline. During dinner, they even put on a traditional dance and music show which was good to see but slightly weird when they decided to ask you to go and join while you were half way through eating your dinner but there we go. 

The day we left, we got the metro to the bus station ready for our night bus to Kuala Besut at 9.30pm. All was well, the bus left almost on time and we settled in ready for the night. A couple of hours in to the journey, we were woken up by what sounded and felt like the bus had either crashed or run over something. After the initial scare, I decided to go straight back to sleep as it was still Asia and things like that seem to happen all of the time. I woke up a while later realising that we still hadn't moved but assumed that it was the one hour stop we had already been told about. Then, at 2am I was woken up by Lisa who had gone to find out what was going on. Yes, we had broken down and we were currently sat on a broken coach in the middle lane of a motorway with cars going around us! 

We were told that the nearest toilet was 500m down and through the tunnel. After asking the driver if he really expected us to walk through a motorway tunnel and him just laughing, we decided to brave it. We got beeped quite a few times but managed to make it safely to the service station, only after realising it was on the other side of the motorway and having to run across 6 lanes to get there. We finally got back to the coach realising that still nothing had happened and waited at the side of the road when at about 4am, the driver decided to take us carload by carload to the service station to wait for a new bus to come and get us - who knows where this mysterious car came from but we jumped in anyway. We waited for the bus by sleeping on some plastic cafteria chairs until around 8am when the bus set off again when sure enough, this second bus also broke down! We thought it must have been a joke but nope, we again had to wait at the side of the road whilst they fixed it. The fixing just sounded as if they were banging the underneath of the bus with a hammer which was quite unnerving to say the least but it seemed to work. So once the second bus was on the move, it took some people back to KL and finally set out to Kuala Besut. 

Once we arrived, 14 hours after we were supposed to, of course the boats to the Perhentian Islands had stopped. We paid some dodgy looking men to take us in their 'speed boat' which was basically a plastic shell with a motor on the back. They were driving the boat so fast that it was hitting the waves so hard and jumping about a metre in the air and crashing back down. The whole boat screamed every time while the driver just laughed and carried on. The main problem with this was that even though I was holding on for dear life, the plastic seats made my back kill for days from the impact and I couldn't move it without being in pain - shame all we had to do was lie on the beach...

As if our luck hadn't been bad enough, once we got on to Long Beach on the smaller of the two islands everywhere was fully booked. We walked up the beach asking in everywhere and finally a kind man let us sleep in their new rooms that were still a building site so we had no doors, plasterboard walls and a mattress on the floor that night but at that point we were so shattered that it seemed like a five star hotel. We ended up staying here, at Lemon Grass for our entire time on Long Beach - we moved in to a little bungalow and it was so nice to actually stay in one place for 6 nights. As good as travelling is, it is absolutely exhausting moving around all of the time, so it really felt like we could relax here. We had planned to move on to the larger island but actually decided to stay on Kecil as it was so nice. We spent the days tanning on the beach and the evenings having dinner at Coral Bay on the other side of the island and watching the fire dancers and chilling with some new friends. Its not really a place to party, there is a high population of Muslim's that run the restaurants so they don't serve alcohol and there are only two bars but I don't think it really needed it, and we also wouldn't have appreciated this view if we'd have been too hungover.

One thing we did do was go on one of the organised snorkelling trips where we saw a huge turtle laying on the bottom of the ocean. It's shell must have been at least a metre long and while we were taking photos on our disposable waterproof camera (lets hope they come out), it started to swim up and along so we could swim behind it until it came up for air. It was an amazing sight and the turtle didn't even seem bothered about us being there. We also went around and saw real life Nemo's, stingrays, lots of coral and other fish. We headed to shark point but unfortunately (?) we didn't find any. When we told our hotel owner we hadn't seen any, the next day he decided to take us out on his own around the bay where we found two Black Fin Reef Sharks! They were only small, but again its pretty cool to say we have swam with sharks in the clearest sea water I have ever seen  - even when you are a far as you can go stood up, you can see your feet so clearly, and I think thats why I was so at ease.

So now, its time to leave this little slice of paradise and head to Singapore for our last four days of the trip. I'm so sad to leave Kecil Island, its become like a little home but I'm excited to see what Singapore has to offer, but getting more and more nervous about getting home and facing the real world - but lets not think about that just yet.

    

 

 

Chiang Mai & Kanchanaburi

The journey to Chiang Mai came with a 4 hour stop over on the border town of Udon Thani, which wouldn't normally be a problem but as we walked through the town to find some food, we quickly realised that not many foreigners end up in this part of town as nothing was in English. How very ignorant of us to assume it would be! We decided to brave it and sat down in a 'restaurant' and while trying to make sense of the Thai menu, the owner approached us and simply said "chicken soup?" - we politely accepted and unfortunately it was not a great choice as it tasted like dish water and the chicken in it was very questionable. We left it, paid up and headed to 7-11 for a trusty cheese toastie - very cultured.

The rest of the journey was fairly straight forward, and after being taken to around a hundred absolute dives, we found Paradise. Unfortunately, Paradise it wasn't but it would have to do. We had so much planned for our time in Chiang Mai and not much time to do it in so we straight away booked on to a Thai cookery course for that evening at Galangal Cooking Studio. Our teachers were Aoy and Max and they were brilliant and so funny. With them, we learnt to make five dishes but first took a trip to the market to buy the ingredients. 

Aoy took us around showing us all the ingredients, telling us what we could use in England for alternatived and it seemed like she was some kind of local celebrity at the market as all the owners were laughing at her trying to put her off - either that or they were laughing at us, something we have grown accustom to. We headed back and started with making a chicken in coconut milk soup, then a pad thai, spring rolls and then the green curry paste to finally make the green curry. The food was so good (even if we do say so ourselves) and we got to eat everything we made! Not that any of us managed to eat it all but at least we know now what it should taste like. I feel like most people that own a restaurant in Asia should go to this place as some of the food we have has is really not great! How can you muck up a chicken fried rice?! Is a question we have had to ask too many times on this trip already.

Both the teachers made us all feel really at home and had a laugh with everyone so it made everyone relax although it was quite funny that Aoy was rushing off after the class to eat in the French restaurant around the corner. Maybe the grass is always greener? 

There are a lot of different cooking classes but we definitely chose the right one and we have already recommended them to others.

The next day we were up early to go to Mahout training. A Mahout is the traditional word for someone who looks after, trains and rides elephants. Of course, we had heard many horror stories about the different places you could go, and I myself have seen a horrible 'elephant camp' where they were all wearing hard seats and were lined up ready for tourists to ride so we really took our time to research where was best. We had found that they best one to go to was Baanchang Elephant Park but unfortunately they were fully booked for days (the reviews must have been right) so we booked on to Yogi Mahout Training which we hoped would be just as good. We set off first to our training centre where we were all given excercise balls to pretend were our elephants. 

Really realistic, right?! Here, they taught us the commands of go and stop, and how to make the elephant turn. Of course I had forgotten the commands as soon as we got back in the van so that was a great start. We headed to a fruit market to buy our elephants some bananas and headed to the camp where we were given our traditional Mahout outfits. The actual Mahouts were dressed in normal clothes, jeans and t-shirts so I'm not quite sure how we ended up looking like this:

Anyway, in our new get up, we set off to meet the elephants. We spent time feeding them and learning their names and ages before it was time to get up on them. Now, I knew that they would be big, but the enormity of them doesn't hit you until you're stood next to one thinking 'how the hell am I going to get up there?!'. As I was stood thinking about this very question, one of the elephants decided to whip its ear back and hit me right in the eye. The girls heard a very loud slapping sound and were met by me holding my streaming eye - ouch! After struggling to get on the elephant the way everyone else was - i'll blame that on being short.... mine had to crouch down so I could climb on to its neck which is the place most comfortable. We rode around a short loop to practice our commands, luckily a real Mahout walked around with you to direct the elephant as I had still forgotten them, dispite being told them again! Riding on these huge animals was unbelievably scary, everytime it moved I felt like I was about to be catapulted off of the front. 

As you can see by my face here, I couldn't hide my panic - and i'd even managed to pick the smallest elephant! 

Just to kill some time I assume, we learnt how to make a papaya salad each and then headed for our actual lunch. After this, we had the chance to ride the elephants around the jungle and take them for a swim and wash in the river. This time I sat on the back of the elephant while Leanne sat at the front and even though I felt a bit more secure it was so painful!! You could feel every movement and my legs hurt for days afterwards. We had a mother and its baby so everytime the baby started to go off of the path, the mum would start to run after it, so we were constantly holding on for our lives pleading for the baby to stay with us!

The best part of the day was getting in the river with them and giving them a good wash as they looked so content. Even though this place was so much better than some of them we had seen, you do feel bad for them although it seems we, and many other people do not have enough moral highground to leave and riding an elephant is too hard to say no to. 

The next day, we decided to keep up our animal theme and head to the Tiger Kingdom where we chose to see some baby tigers. These are between two and four months old and were so cute. We decided to pass on seeing the larger tigers as they are HUGE and pretty scary. If one of them went for you, then you would definitely loose at least a limb.

Other than that, I really enjoyed Chiang Mai in general. It is a really pretty place and has a lot to do. We decided to sack off going on another trek as previously planned because we were all shattered so this was the perfect time to throw away our walking boots which were taking up valuable souvenir space in our bags! We headed to a few markets and the night bazaar which is unlike anything i've ever seen. It was the largest market we've seen with lights and music and the sellers have actually learnt that if they sell something different to the stalls next to them then they are more likely to make a sale - who would have thought?! 

Our next stop on the journey down south was Kanchanaburi, home to the bridge over the River Kwai. We settled in to another strip of bars in a little hut settled on the river and went to explore. We got a Tuk Tuk in to the town anddidn't find much there apart from a few everything shops so we headed back and decided that of course we needed to sample the night life so headed out for a 'few beers' in a bar and to play pool. We quickly found a couple of friends to carry the night on with and our few beers ended up with getting drunk for 10 Baht (20p) and swinging back a forth on a wrecking ball to the sound of Miley Cyrus.

The next day we headed to the JEATH War Museum which told a little about the bridge over the River Kwai and the death railway, named this due to the amount of people killed whilst building it and then walked down to watch the train cross. I was a little disappointed as for some reason I was expecting a steam train but it was still pretty cool to see and also to walk along the bridge. We wanted to ride the train, but when the conductor told us the first stop was two hours away, we thought better of it and headed back ready for our bus to Bangkok ready for our south islands tour.

 

Hi Laos, bye Laos

We have spent the last two months absolutely dreading the 31 hour bus journey from Hanoi to Vang Vieng in Laos and have brought it up on every bus journey - "Laos will be 3/4/5/6 times as long as this so quit moaning". As the day of the journey was getting closer, we met a lovely girl in our dorm who had just done the journey the opposite way. After hearing her awful account and her saying that if she had the choice to pay £100 for a flight or do it again, she would pay..... we bought a flight! One short hour in the air and we had landed in Vientiane, the capital. 

As we didn't have much time, we were straight in to a four hour taxi which took us to Vang Vieng, known for the infamous activity of tubing. We arrived on the Vang Vieng 'strip' at about 8pm, with nowhere to stay. We keep meaning to book accommodation before arriving in our next location as it is such a pain in the arse but of course, we never do. The strip seemed lively with a chilled vibe as a lot of the bars were playing friends and had beds for seats - I already liked it. We were quickly approached by a promo girl with glitter all over her face who pointed to her bar "come and join us, we are the best place in the town to buy drugs - weed, opium, whatever you want". Welcome to Laos!

We finally found somewhere to stay and the next day decided to rent some bicycles (still not ready to get back on a moped) and headed off in search of the Blue Lagoon, which is meant to be a beautiful attraction. We followed the map and cycled the 7km, which doesn't sound too bad but the roads were so muddy and bumpy and at some points we had to get off the bikes and walk them barefoot through the deep mud / cow poo infested water. We finally came across the sign for 'Blue Lagoon' so we locked up our bikes and walked the 1km to where there were some locals ready to take your 10,000 kip entrance fee. We were expecting this so didn't really think anything of it and paid. We walked the remainder of the way down and found a muddy river that looked nothing like the pictures and wasn't even a pool of water. After walking a little futher, we realised that we had definitely been mugged off and decided to head back to the locals. Lisa was the most unimpressed and walked ahead to ask for our money back. 10,000 kip is just under £1 - but thats not the point. The oldest local was quick to run off in to the bushes and leave the three children who were laughing at us. They realised that it was risky to leave the money they were betting with in the middle of their table so one got up and ran off with it. In what can only be described as 'not her finest hour', Lisa (in a rage) threw a slingshot at the kids who were still waiting and went on to shove their moped over on to the floor. We quickly got back to our bikes worrying that some of the Laos mafia were going to come and kill us and kept cycling until we found the real Blue Lagoon:

Well, it was the authentic one and we recognised it from the pictures (like this one above from google) but it was a really horrible shade of BROWN. I'm not sure if it was because of the weather or if the online pictures are horrendously photoshopped but either way, after the drama of the day, we were very annoyed. We didn't even bother going in, grabbed a drink and then paid a tuk tuk driver to take us, and our bikes home.

The next day we decided it was time for tubing! We had a 'big tubing breakfast' which involved a beer and a free shot of vodka - a great way to start an all day drinking session. We set off in search of a tube and had to sign another waiver. We keep doing activities where you have to sign to say you wont die, and if you do you die, then you wont sue them. I usually just sign them straight away but this one worried me more than most. You had to tick 'yes' to being a confident swimmer, and I am definitely not - even sober. But, needless to say, I still ticked yes and hoped to god I wouldn't drunkenly drown (thankfully, i'm still here to tell the tale). We got in a tuk tuk who took us and our tubes up to the start point and met two friends from Israel who we ended up spending the whole day with. You get dropped at the first bar which was pretty busy already. They were playing some great music, had lots of games set up and just generally had a good vibe. So good that we ended up staying for two hours - playing (and winning) beer pong, drinking, and one of us vomming. We did a birthday shotgun for the bar man and decided it was time to get in the water... what was I saying about drowning?! 

As we were floating down the river, we started to hear some faint music and as we got closer we heard  some S Club 7 blasting out from the next bar. Then, the workers throw in ropes for you to grab on toand  then pull you on to the river bank and up to the next bar. This one was just as full, the had basket ball, played cheesy music and gave you a free bracelet with every drink. As a backpacker, anything free makes you very happy! We stayed for a while but as we had to get our rings back by 6pm, we left for the river again. 

It takes about an hour, with no stops, to get from the start to the finish in the wet season so the last part of our trip took a good half hour. There were a few more smaller bars along the last half an hour but because the current is so fast and strong, it is near on impossible to swim your ring to the river bank without falling out. Its common knowledge that many of the bars have been closed down as there have been many deaths over the years, but I do still think it is worth a visit just for the first two! As we approached the end, there was a man ready to help you out of the river and on to dry land. Of course, its me, nothing ever goes very smoothly so I managed to loose my ring and watched it float down the river. I shouted to some of the guys we'd met earlier to try and grab it as they were getting off at the next point but I was fully prepared to have lost it and have to pay the fine and too drunk to really care.

We made our way back to the start to give everyone else's rings back in probably the worst storm we have seen yet. Luckily, we were already soaked in river water but it was unlike any rain i've ever seen! Somehow, my ring came back with the others and we set off back to our hostel in a very very drunk state. We dryed off and only ventured back out for some very traditional pie and mash in an irish bar - perfect for warming us up. That night, we were too drunk to do anything else, ended up in bed by 9 and were up at 6am for our 24 hour journey to Chiang Mai - wow. 

We had such a little amount of time in Laos, which was such a shame as even the small parts we did see (minus the brown lagoon) were beautiful so I would definitely come back to see more! 

 

Hanoi, Ha Long Bay & Sapa

The journey to Hanoi was the worst of our night buses so far. Don't get me wrong, i'm not fussy about where i'm sleeping on this trip as i'm starting to feel like we live on night buses and having an actual bed is five star luxury, but you would think that when you are paying probably ten times the amount for a seat than the locals, they would at least be a bit nice to you, but no. We were not allowed to choose our seats, and god forbid should we try and sleep on the bottom bunk (this is for locals only) we were shuffled to the back seats with our rucksacks too. Being at the back of the bus made for a bumpy ride which was annoying enough, but we were then woken up by being thumped in the leg a few times. The driver then clambered up on to the beds with us still on them, shoved us out of the way, pushed my bag on to me so I nearly fell off and then PINCHED me so hard. After throwing a few nasty words at him we got off the bus and hoped for a smoother journey to our hostel. 

I will never understand why taxi drivers come to bus stations to pick up tourists when they cannot understand a word of what you were saying. Hanoi Backpackers' Hostel had been recommended by numerous people along the trip, so thats where we decided to head. Quite a simple name of a place you would think? The name of the town, what it was, and who it was for. We pointed at our bags, made sleeping actions, tried saying it slower but nothing worked so we headed out to the main road where we finally found a taxi driver who knew his arse from his elbow and took us straight there. 

It was around 7.30am when we arrived and I have never seen anything like what we walked in to. The huge lobby was full of people in bright sombreros and you could not move so at this point, after all the aggravation it took to get there, we were expecting them to be full. Luckily, we got a bed each and it is definitely one of the best hostels we have stayed in yet. We were quick to get out and explore the capital and to be honest, we didn't find much. There was a rubbish market, and a 'city gate' that looked more impressive in the hand drawing on the tourist map we had picked up. The main thing of note was what was on the other side of the gate; we had head stories of the locals eating dog in Hanoi (although who can be sure that they haven't eaten dog when they've ordered chicken - we are in Asia) but what we saw is beyond what we imagined. We were walking up the road and there were various food stalls which is nothing new but then we noticed a lady using a meat cleaver to cut up what looked like the back end of a skinned and deep fried dog. In disbelief, we kept walking only to find a basket full of whole dogs, still with their teeth growling. Not too sure why this is a normal food here and it made me feel physically sick so on that note, we headed back to our hostel. 

Now, there are two Hanoi Backpackers, the original, and the downtown. Convinced we were following the map to the right one, we ended up at the original after about an hours walk so we decided to cut our losses and jump in a taxi - female map reading wins again! Every Sunday, the hostel have a barbeque evening with free beer. Never to miss out on anything free, we headed to the terrace and had a few drinks before heading down to the bar who give out free shots almost hourly. We decided to play spoons, and with this genius idea we made a lot of friends, albeit one enemy who did "not want to play this kind of game" and swanned off in her ballgown and full face of make-up (no love lost there). 

The hostel put on a pub crawl every night and all the hostels around the area start in the hostel bar and move on down the road at around 10pm. The bar was good, and everyone was together which was nice, but the one thing thats starting to annoy me is that every club in Asia start to play some amazing songs and mix them all in to the same dubstep, clubby horrible noise, but apart from that it was fun. The bar was shut down by the police as Hanoi has a curfew and we decided to call it a night, not before getting a laughing cow cheese baguette as drunk munch, which has now become a weird craving of ours because its so good! We later heard that the bar crawl then heads to a dodgy club under a motorway bridge run by the mafia, wow. 

The next day, we were determined to be cultured even though we were hungover, so we set off with two of our dorm roommates to see Hoa Lo Prison after taking an unexpected de-tour to the Temple of Literature (don't ask) and it wasn't really worth it. The artefacts in the museum didn't seem legitimate and after seeing S-21 in Cambodia, it was a bit of a let down. After this, we set off for our first massage, which was a slightly awkward experience all lying naked next to eachother, but hey ho, we are all friends here. We had an early night ready for our Ha Long Bay and Castaway Island tour which started at 8am. 

What an AMAZING few days. Although it quite an expensive trip, it is worth every penny especially since you get a bright castaway hat (those sombreros we were so confused about when we first arrived). Now most of the funny things that happened on this trip shouldn't and wont be written on here but as a whole, it went a little like this:

We arrived at the port where we all split on to different boats. We were greeted by our Dutch tourguide Michael who spent the entire trip calling us English C***s which made us feel right at home. Boating around the bay was amazing, it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen so at first I thought it was going to be a shame that we were about to spend most of the trip too drunk or too busy to really take it all but then I realised that was a stupid thought! 

We were given our bedrooms and quickly summoned up to the top deck where we were given the trip rules. No saying 'mine' or 'ten' or you had to do t-e-n pushups (you could opt to do girly pushups but only if you made sex noises whilst doing so) and you were not allowed to drink with your right hand. If you did, this was called out as a buffalo and you had to down whatever was in your hand. Luckily, I was caught out once, only with a bottle of water in hand. After our introductions, we were informed that it was shotgun o'clock (a time that seemed to roll around at too many times of the day) and we had to repeat the following chant:

MASTER SHOTGUNNER UP ABOVE, MAY THESE BEERS GO DOWN SMOOTHLY, QUICKLY, EFFICIENTLY, WITH MINIMAL SPILLAGE, AND MINIMAL AFTER-SICKAGE. SHOTTGUNNNN!

... and then shotgun our beers. After a few more shotgun's on the clock, we were off kayaking which was amazing. 

After this, we had a few more shotguns and jumped off the boat a few times before having dinner and getting ready for the evening. We mored up and had a boat party that night where one of the other boats of our 4 came to join us for a game of dragon: a game that involved alot of swapping clothes, drinking, getting naked, drinking, telling embarrassing confessions about yourself, drinking, kissing, guys lapdancing in girls clothes and more drinking. What a great way to all get to know your new friends!

The party carried on thanks to our legendary bar man Hank and after a few too many, we all crashed out knowing we'd be up at 7am to start it all over again but not before having a HANK SELFIE.

Breakfast the next day was not a good experience but most powered through as 9am rolled around and it was shotgun o'clock once again:

Even though I got a hell of a lot of abuse, I decided that a 9am beer was not for me but the other two powered through. GO ON GIRLS. Day two, and we were off to Castaway Island where we stayed in little huts on the beach with our party room friends and just mosquito nets for company.

The island was completely private just for the people on the tour and all of the boats were there together. The day was spent jumping off the pontoons, swimming, rock climbing, high speed tubing, playing volleyball, tanning and of course drinking. I decided not to drink all day considering my hangover but before dinner I finally manned up and got a beer, only for a good reason of course. A couple of years ago, one of the tourguides sadly passed away, so as a tribute to him everyone on the island goes to his memorial stone, the guides say a few words and then of course, you all shotgun to him. Before the shotgun, the last words were "to new friends, to old friends, and to absent friends" to which I welled up  and had to go for a secret cry with the girls in our hut. I find it so strange what little things can set you off when you have lost someone yourself but as the girls say, its better to get it out and i'm going to blame my ourburst on being drunk (on one beer). After my little moment, we had an amazing night, playing more drinking games, dancing, singing, late night DMC's on the beach and night swimming. The swimming was the most amazing thing as there is illuminous plankton in the sea so everytime you move, your body makes the water glitter around you, it was incredible and you cannot really imagine what it looks like until you get in the water. The hungover journey back to Hanoi the next day was horrendous - travelling home on a boat the day after consuming that much alcohol and having that little sleep should not be allowed. Thank you party boat crew, and everyone else at Castaway for the most fabulous time! 

After recovering from our very un-cultured few days, we decided to head to Sapa which is in the North of Vietnam and is home to 6 of the 54 different tribes in Vietnam, who all have their own languages. The scenery here is absolutely amazing as the mountains are all covered in staggered rice and corn fields. We thought the best way to see this (and detox from Castaway) would be to do a two day trek. We took the night bus from Hanoi and on arrival met our tourguide, Ya. Ya is from the Hmong tribe and was amazing, she spoke a lot of English and explained all about Sapa while taking us around our 10km trek. We visited her home and met her family, where her husband cooked us dinner, which was some of the best Vietnamese food we have eaten yet! She showed us how they weave, dye and make their own clothes and explained all about their religion and beliefs. Ya was so welcoming and really made us feel at home but for some reason the travel company make the trekkers stay elsewhere, which wasn't even half as good, so we took photo's of her house to take back to them to convince them to let them stay there instead, I hope we succeeded!

After lunch, we bought some souvenirs from the girls who came with Ya, who were obviously only there to sell us stuff, but nevertheless we got some nice bits, and took a dodgy headwear selfie on the sly. We spent the afternoon trekking to the village where we would be staying and at our homestay we were greeted by the biggest and scariest German Shepherd in the world. It was barking at the door and the owners didn't bother to do anything about it, just expected us to run past and try and dodge it. Even Ya was scared so we knew it wasn't just us being typical westerners. To be honest, I expected a lot more from a homestay. The family wasn't very welcoming, we spent most of it sat awkwardly outside, had an awkward dinner and made our excuses to go to bed for an extremely early night. Luckily, it was believable since we had been trekking all day. The next day Ya was waiting for us with pancakes and tea before we set off on the shorter 3km trek. She asked if we wanted easy or hard, we chose hard as easy was just walking along the main road back to the bus but were soon eating our words when we realised that the hard route was so hard because it had rained over night and we were slipping all over the place. The route may have been a third of the length of the day before but it was a lot harder since there were more up hill treks and you also had to concentrate so hard not to slip down the mud. We met with a larger group doing the same route, and just like us they had proper walking shoes on but we were all over the place. Suddenly, a group of local girls, who were no more than 7 or 8 joined the group with flip flops and sandals on who were there to hold your hands and help you down the mud. The embarrassment set in but it was safe to say most of us needed the help! We got to the bottom and found the waterfall which was so pretty but this was tainted by trying to be sold more rubbish! I should know by now that no one in Asia helps you for free. All the little girls were swarming around everyone saying "you buy bracelet from me" if you said no the response was "but I helped you so much" or "I not your friend anymore". It was so annoying as we didn't ask for the help, they just grabbed your hand! To be honest, if we hadn't already bought bracelets the day before, I probably would have given in but if I bought something from every person who asked here, I would have no money left by now and an arm full of bracelets that all look the same.

  

The trek was so good, and it was really nice to get back in to doing something a little more cultured than drinking. There is no stop for us at the moment so we headed back to town, showered, ate and got back on another night bus back to Hanoi where we arrived at 3.45am. Great, we didn't have a hostel booked, as we were expecting to be back at a more normal time of the morning when we could grab our bags from the storage room before leaving, and we didn't really know where we were. So we searched around for a taxi, which are surprisingly hard to come by as most of the drivers were asleep, and got them to take us to Hanoi Backpackers. We snuck past the security (who were asleep - got to love Asia) and headed up to the fifth floor where we bedded down on the sofas. Apart from being woken up by a few drunk people and being tutted at by the cleaners, it was a pretty good few hours sleep. After this, we grabbed our bags and headed to the airport. I will be really sad to leave Vietnam, it has been fabulous, but its time for the next stop. HELLO LAOS!

P.s, we finally got a selfie with some water buffalo - sod you Koh Rong!